Heartfelt Apologies

Heartfelt Apologies

Cultivating Love

As part of the yoga curriculum I offer at Girls Inc., we teach taking responsibility for our own actions to the ladies.  We demonstrate how to communicate our feelings and “own up” to our mistakes in a mature manner.

When I prepared for this topic, I felt I knew how to deliver a heartfelt apology.  And as an adult, I do deliver loving direct apologies to other adults.  To my children, I tend to add what we call a “backhanded” comment to the apology.  “I’m sorry I got upset, but you really drive me crazy.”  What message am I really delivering?  It’s not really my fault.  I don’t feel sorry. 

“Apologies are powerful because they’re a public demonstration of remorse, an acknowledgement of the consequences of hurtful behavior, and an affirmation of the dignity of the person who has been wrong.” (Queen Bees and Wanna Bees by Rosalind Wiseman)

Our children as well as our friends and family learn from how we handle our mistakes whether they are two or 72.  We are, in fact, role models whether we want to be or not.  Even the aggressive driver we wave apologetically to sees our loving nature.

Set aside your pride, and admit when you’re wrong.  Apologize for what you’ve done.  It’s that simple.  Delivering that message is more of an art.  First, give details of the situation you are apologizing for (I’m sorry I snapped when you came home late.) Include only your actions not those of others involved.  (I apologize I didn’t say anything on your behalf in front of Mom.)  Avoid the backhanded remarks and don’t expect an apology in return.  To deliver a true apology, we must be willing to be vulnerable and open even if the other party is not receptive to our apology.

To help get your mind in a more forgiving place, practice this loving-kindness meditation.  Find a comfortable seat, and close your eyes.  Begin by focusing your attention on your breath allowing the inhale and exhale to be even.  Then, repeat the following phrases:

May I be happy. 

May I be healthy. 

May I be safe. 

May I be loved.

Next, change the “I” to someone you are having a difficult time with. Repeat the phrases with their name.  With practice, you will notice a subtle shift in how you hold your emotions towards this person.  You will begin to see her with a loving and open heart.

When we find love within, we are better able to offer compassion and forgiveness in a meaningful way.

Shine On

Limber Llama Yoga teacher, Jennifer Weiss teaching at Girls Inc. of Washington County.

Shine On

Confidence Sparkles

What would my childhood have been like if I had been exposed to yoga at age 10?  This very question is what led me to begin volunteering with pre-teens and teenagers in Hagerstown.

When I pose this question to my adult students, they sigh, and say life would have been so much easier.  “I would have more confidence in my body.”  “I could have taken more time to react to situations.” “I may have been a more authentic me.”  And the list goes on and on.

All the benefits adults enjoy as a regular yoga practice, teens can experience too.  From the ability to act consciously instead of reacting to a situation to redirecting negative thoughts into positive ones, yoga is a toolbox of movement, breath and mind practices.  This toolbox aids in building self-confidence, gaining greater depth of enjoyment of life, and giving courage to be the real you.

It may not seem like all of these benefits are possible, but let’s break it down.  When a student begins practicing yoga poses (asanas), she first has to let go of what’s happening outside her mat in order to do the pose correctly.  Once she gains some confidence in her Downward Facing Dog, she’ll start to connect her breath to each movement.   Then, she stops the movement, but continues to focus on the breath while calming the mind.

The student then begins to practice self-awareness (paying attention) off the mat.  She takes a breath before speaking.  She understands and communicates the feelings she’s experiencing.  She takes more time to make smart decisions.  She gains more confidence in herself as well as her support system.

Who wouldn’t want these benefits?  And who wouldn’t want to give them to their son or daughter?  During the month of March 2014, teens (ages 10-18) can practice for free when accompanied by a paying adult to any Limber Llama Yoga class.

Peace + Quiet

Peace + Quiet

Antidote for Holiday Stress

Smells of cinnamon and evergreen fill the stores and maybe your house this time of the year.  The holiday season is in full force, and we are all rushing around picking up those last minute gifts, attending parties and cooking for guests.

I recently made a decision to stay home for the winter holidays forgoing my 32-year tradition of celebrating with my family in Florida.  It was a hard decision, but one that actually brought more peace to my life.  Nothing is more hectic than traveling at the holidays, and now, I would be adding a child to that stressful event.  So now, we spend our springs with my family when air traffic is slower, and the weather is less of a cancellation threat.

I am living my peace.  I am making decisions (when I can) that help bring calmness to my family and myself.  By living in a peaceful rhythm, we begin to change the world around us.  Our family, friends and even strangers begin to feel this shift of peaceful energies.  Some even begin to shift their rhythms. 

Ghandi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”  I hold this quote close to my heart and believe it to the fullest.  We may represent one drop in an ocean of people, but that one drop can create a ripple through the hearts of all people.  Live your life with passion, peace and love.

Below is a Peace Invocation I adapted from a training with Shiva Rea.  Practice this invocation in the morning before your yoga practice or before you start your day.

Body Movement: Raise arms over your head, drawing both hands down the center stopping at your heart.

Invocation: Begin by facing east on your mat. Lift arms, and silently pray, “Let there be peace to everyone I love and know in the east.” Pause.  Think about everyone you know and don’t know.  Think about anyone that could use your healing powers. Turn to the south. Inhale and exhale praying, “Let there be peace to everyone I know and love in the south.”Turn to the west. Inhale and exhale praying, “Let there be peace to everyone I know and love in the west.” Next, turn to the north. “Let there be peace to everyone I love and know in the north.” Finally, turn back turn to face east again.  Draw the arms up and silently speak “Let there be peace within me.”

Practicing Gratitude

Practicing Gratitude

A Daily Meditation

Gobble, gobble. It’s Thanksgiving time again.  Just as the holiday’s name suggests, it’s a time to give thanks.  But what about the other 364 days of the year?

Being thankful everyday is hard work.  Life happens.  We experience the highs and lows each day presents to us – a last minute meeting causing us to work late on a Friday, or a friend announcing she’s getting hitched.  We switch into a survival like mode and try to make it to Saturday forgetting about all the good times.

A consistent yoga and meditation practice can help mellow out the week’s emotional roller coaster and bring to light the things you are most grateful for.  This month, commit to creating a gratitude list then meditating with it each day.

Let’s get started.  Write down the people, experiences, feelings, etc. you are thankful to have in your life.  For example, I am thankful to have the time and energy to practice yoga everyday.  I am also grateful to have the strength to have a difficult conversation with a loved one.

Bring your list to your meditation seat (mat, blanket, recliner, etc.).  Read over the list taking in one full breath per each one.  Allow each item to fill your heart with emotion.  Once you finish the list, close your eyes, and gently rest in gratitude.

Continue to add one thing to your list every day, 365 days a year.  Practicing gratitude helps us feel less envious because we are content with what we have.  We are more comfortable to live within our means, and we may even find we are more generous with our time and energy.

It only takes a moment to say ‘thank you.’  Start today.

Sleep is Beautiful

Sleep is Beautiful

A Daily Tune-Up

Ah, vacation.  Why is it when we’re on a vacation, we feel so refreshed and energized?  We have no responsibilities, no agendas, nowhere to be.  We are able to fully relax and enjoy the moment.  Falling asleep in Savasana?  It’s a sign that your body needs more sleep.

Numerous medical reports state adults need 7-8 hours of sleep every night.  Every night!  Kids and teens need even more.  Sleep is important to help restore the body.  While you drift off to Never Never Land, our bodies are focusing on other tasks like filing memories, restoring muscle tissues, resetting digestive functions and overall, rejuvenating the brain’s function.  Growth hormones are secreted during sleep aiding in growth for children and repair tissues in adults.

Restless nights begin to add up.  Lack of sleep is linked to increased cases of diabetes, heart problems, weight gain, depression among other illnesses. It affects our personality and sense of humor. We’re more irritable and less tolerant

How can you get more quality sleep? 

·             Establish a routine going to bed at the same time even on the weekends.

·             Tune out electronics an hour before bedtime.

·             Avoid caffeine and alcohol before bedtime along with smoking.

·              Finish eating 2-3 hours before bedtime.

        Exercise regularly.

Make sleep a priority now, and avoid winter woes like a cold, the flu or added agitation with the holidays. Every night is an opportunity to take a mini-vacation.  Sweet dreams!