Love Yourself First

Love Yourself First

“So-Hum” and Sing

We are givers.  We give our careers all of our daytime energies.  We give our families all of our love and support.  We give our significant lovers a listening ear and open heart.  We give dharma (destiny) our drive and passion. So, when do we have time to give to our self?

Over time, this neglect to love and care for our self wears and tears at the mind, body and soul.  We grow tired and weary.  We lose interest in the tasks, people and things we once loved before.  We become irritable and restless because something is missing.  Love is missing.

I, too, have fallen into this “always giving” category.  Whether it was skipping lunch to meet a potential client to now prolonging a shower until my infant naps, I put the needs of others before my own.  By the end of the week, I’m emotionally drained, crabby and making poor eating choices along the way. 

Practicing yoga, all aspects of yoga not just the physical postures, helps remind me to tune in and tend to my inner house.  Meditation is a powerful tool, and I read countless articles on how it calms the nervous system, rejuvenates the mind and soothes the soul.  Speaking from personal experience, meditation helps “file” my thoughts and emotions in my mind.  I feel refreshed, organized and grounded when I begin my day with as little as 5 minutes of quiet time.

Try “So-Hum” meditation.  Begin by sitting comfortably with your spine tall and long and turning off any distractions.  Draw your breath slowly into your nose while thinking or quietly saying “So.”  Release the breath slowly as you repeat the word “Hum.”  Allow the breath to be steady and even repeating “So-Hum” on each full breath.  If your mind wanders, bring it back to “So-Hum.”  Try practicing this meditation for 5 minutes and add to it as time allows.

Notice the peace and quietness it brings to the body.  Open your eyes and radiate your love.

“Love is in the air everywhere I look around.

Love is in the air every sight and every sound.

…Love is in the air, in the rising of the sun,

Love is in the air, when the day is nearly done,”

Tom Jones

New Year New View

New Year New View

Fresh Outlook for 2013

At the stroke of midnight, millions of people will rejoice to the end of the year and the beginning of 2013.  Along with the champagne and noisemakers, revelers make promises to better themselves over the next 365 days.

This tradition, over 4,000 years old, is one we either welcome or dread.  It is believed the Babylonians first began offering promises or resolutions as a way of making the gods happy and starting the next year off on the right foot.

I recently came across an old resolutions list I created many years ago.  “Travel more.  Write more.  Love what I do” among a few other items.  Did I accomplish those that year?  Yes and no.  I did purchase my first passport and traveled to Mexico with my now husband.  I wrote a few stories for myself.    As for loving what I did, that took many more years for me to figure out. 

As one chapter in your life ends, we are excited to dream and look at the next one.  Each year, we get a chance to reflect on the year’s events, our accomplishments, and disappointments.  We tend to beat ourselves up when we step on the scale at the end of the year and it doesn’t say what we feel it should.  Some resolutions are bigger than a yearly goal.  They are a lifestyle change.

“Do what youlove.  Love what you do.”  When you are in love with the way you spend your time every day, it no longer becomes the stressful environment you want to escape.  You wake each morning jumping out of bed (well, almost) and welcoming the day.

Change the way you view New Year’s resolutions and welcome the ideals and dreams that may take the rest of your life to achieve.  Happy New Year to all!

Guilt-Free Holidays

Guilt-Free Holidays

Dumping the Extra Baggage

Jingle bells and eggnog cheers.  The holidays are here.  Along with the holidays come a slew of party invitations, family obligations and less time for you.  Start December differently by establishing joyful boundaries for the holidays. 

Set your intentions early and say them loudly.  What do you like most about the season?  The least?  What traditions do you wish to celebrate?  Who will support you in your decisions? Feeling guilty starts and ends with us, not others.  No one forces you to say yes to that third glass of wine or another holiday party.  You may be surprised that when you state your true feelings how others may actually agree with you!

Many of us make decisions because we don’t want to hurt other people’s feelings.  Don’t assume you know what others are thinking.  Perhaps suggesting a gift-free holiday may bring relief to brothers and sisters.  Speak up but also listen as to why others feel the way they do.

Don’t dump your guilty luggage on others.  Imagine a friend who is only attending dinner at your house because she feels obligated.  Accept her decision rather than sending text messages reminding her of the fun time she is missing.  You would want the same love and support from your friends.

Lastly, the only person who can make you happy is you. No amount of eggnog will transport you from your family’s home.  If your choices surprise or even disappoint others, they’ll get over it.  Believe it or not, your in-laws will still have a great holiday with or without you being there!

So, if you decide to not invite a friend to dinner, or cook a certain dish for a party, be strong and supportive.  Give yourself permission to be happy and let go of the negative energies that evolve into guilt.  Be generous to yourself by being true.

Here’s to creating a holiday that is truly you and enjoy every minute of it! 

Lose Your Senses

Lose Your Senses

Discover Bliss Anywhere

“Forty-five minute delay?” I said quietly to myself while waiting at the airport. It’s not that I haven’t experienced flight delays before, but today I’m flying with my three and half month old daughter for the first time, and this alone makes my anxious Vata dosha soar.

My daughter begins to get restless waiting in her stroller so I immediately swoop her in my arms and begin to walk.  I gently begin the all to common “shushing” you hear mom’s do.  We walk, rock and swing back and forth at the end of the terminal.

Before I know it, I’ve started closing my own eyes while we move, and it seems as though the airport has gotten silent.  My mind isn’t wandering.  It’s right here feeling the rhythmic motion of my body.  It’s as if I can feel every step, every sway at this exact moment.  And it feels wonderful!

One of Patanjali’s eight limbs of Yoga is pratyahara or the practice of withdrawing your senses.  When one is fully immersed in pratyahara, he is readying his mind and body for meditation and full enlightenment.  Or in my case, it grounded my mind and body so that I may remain relaxed and calm for my daughter.

Pratyahara is achievable by anyone with a desire to practice it.  Start by bringing your awareness to your breath while driving one morning.  Turn off the radio and look around.  Each time your mind begins to review your “to-do” list, acknowledge it and return to your breath.  Next, see if you can drop any thoughts and opinions like “this view is beautiful” and just be in the moment – good or bad. Don’t give up if it doesn’t happen on the first try.  Practice is the key and you’ll notice it gets easier each time you try.

Savor each moment.  With the holiday season upon us, the practice of pratyahara just may give you a bit of sanity while waiting for your flight, purchasing your holiday gifts or enduring your tenth holiday party.